y did u give ur computer a hand job?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
