you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
The power of my boobs compel you
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
