You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Randomize
