so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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