That's intense
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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