Got a toothbrush?
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize