I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
