I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
