I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
my poor anus
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
