I think I am morally bankrupt
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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