some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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