just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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