Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
