the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
