her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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