And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
