Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
