i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
my sisters under your porch take her home
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Let's get the cat blown out
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
