don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
