Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
