my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
