Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
