I bet he comes in French.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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