Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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