Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize