you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
