The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
