It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Sober January is a disaster.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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