dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
