I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
