Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
