i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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