Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
