Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
