Its about making memories worth repressing
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
