She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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