Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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