OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
