i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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