Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
