It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
