I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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