Just fell off a train. Bad.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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