I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
