Whoa Z and x make the same sound
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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