So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
the raccoons are back...
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