you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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