Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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