3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
