You're completely useless in the revolution.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize