she was so not down for the gang bang
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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