Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
