Sponge bath it is.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
