Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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