More tranny stories later!
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize