So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
