I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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